Filed under: crime, drama, ethical dilemmas, kindness, people, the new york times
i decided to send a letter to randy cohen, who writes the column “the ethicist” for the new york times magazine, in order to solve my ethical dilemma. i hope he replies, i love his column. here is the letter i wrote:
Dear Mr. Cohen,
Recently, my home was robbed. Thousands of dollars worth of things both replaceable and irreplaceable were stolen, as well as my car. A few days later, my car was recovered and the people allegedly responsible were arrested. Upon receiving my car, I discovered that it was filled with the possesions of one of the people in custody. I tried to give the things to the impound lot, but they wouldn’t take them and when I called the detective working on the case, she told me to do whatever I wanted with the things. Would I be acting correctly to give the items ( mostly clothing and other personal things) to a charity shop? Or do I have an ethical obligation to try to return them to their owner, even if they stole from me?
Thanks for your time,
xxxx
Filed under: being poor, crime, drama, ethical dilemmas, kindness, los angeles, people
so, i got a call from the police at 2 in the morning, they had my car, and had arrested the two people who were driving it on crenshaw. the girl in the driver’s seat was 16 and apparently a repeat offender. getting the car back took forever, at first they wouldn’t let me have it because they insisted that it was still stolen, even though you could see it in the impound lot. i know there are some very intelligent police officers out there, but i didn’t meet any yesterday.
the car is ok i think, although they smashed one of the side mirrors, broke one of the tail lights, the check engine light is on, the gps is gone, and someone wrote their initals on the glove compartment-door. unfortunately, everything that i had in the car (cds, chargers, gym clothes, owner’s manual and registration documents) are all gone.
the weirdest thing was that all of this girl’s stuff was in the car and it seemed like she had been living in it, sad. The police told me she was a “problem child” and that they were trying to put her in some kind of prison-school. i took all of her things (clothes, make-up, instant oatmeal, maxi-pads) and put them in a bag. my first thought was to take them to the police station and my second thought was screw that, that little bitch stole all my shit. her clothes are in the dryer now, i’m going to give them to out of the closet, they will probably give her a uniform at her new school. I feel kind of guilty, like i’m enforcing some petty lex talionis, but i do know, from personal experiance, that the worse the consequences, the better you learn your lesson… or would she be better inspired by a wronged stranger’s kindness? idk.
Filed under: 3rd street, buddhism, kindness, los angeles, mid-city west, my neighborhood, people
today, as i was walking along 3rd street to meet my friend sophia at the beverly center, i saw a guy dressed in saffron-colored buddhist monk’s robes riding a skateboard and feeding the meters as he passed. i wish i had my camera on me, it was pretty cool.
Filed under: books, etiquette, friends, gifts, kindness, people, shopping, the grove, travel
today i came across two books while at the grove that i couldn’t pass up,
i have a bit of an obsession with etiquette books, some of the older, more archaic versions are great for a few laughs as well as a window into social codes and structures often extinct. Many others, though, can be relevant, insightful, and unpretensious reminders of how to be a modern lady or gentleman.
the art of civilized conversation, by margaret shepherd instantly drew me in with the author’s charming, easy voice. it seems to be a genuine, unstuffy, and instructive book on improving and perfecting conversation skills. will write more when finished.
here is an interesting article i found about conversation in history:
http://www.economist.com/world/displaystory.cfm?story_id=8345491
sunny and i have both been the victim of some pretty messed up deeds by villainous strangers lately, so when i saw the kindness of strangers - a collection of travel stories about kind deeds by total strangers, i thought that it would be the perfect book to help us both reframe our state of mind. it is edited by don george and has a foreward on the importance of kindness by the dalai lama.
