Filed under: buddhism, culture, drama, fashion, gay, people, relationships, romance, travel
this is me in the early hours of january 1st 2008 on the main beach in hadd rin on koh pha ngan in the gulf of thailand. i think i’m trying to put a spell on you with my magic pail of vodka.
surprising: i never threw-up.
not surprising: tom and i got in a huge fight and ended up not even speaking to each other. this is a new year’s eve tradition for us. the year before it nearly came to blows as we sat watching the fireworks over puerto vallerta. i guess there’s something about romantic sea-side relaxation and awe-inspiring beauty that fills us with murderous rage. next year we’re planning on giving each other minor disabilities in st. barts.
Filed under: crime, culture, drama, ethical dilemmas, etiquette, food, friends, gifts, people, relationships, romance
oh, your vaginas are acting up?
cool… except not.
lately, i’ve noticed alot of girls talking unabashedly about their vaginas. in class, over dinner, in da club: vagina, vagina, vagina.
this is inappropriate. stop it, please.
But wait, you say, I saw famous, respectable women talking about their vaginas in the vagina monologues and oprah talks about her vajayjay!
true. but there is a difference. for clarity’s sake, i will list people who you may, and may not, talk to about your vagina:
people that you may talk to about your vagina:
your mom
your sisters
your husband or fiancee (and probably only if you have cancer)
dr. ruth
close girlfriends or gay friends who you know won’t be weirded out
oprah: i know she’s probably not your close friend but emotionally she probably might as well be
note: none of these count if you are within earshot of someone enjoying a meal.
people you may never talk to about your vagina:
anyone sitting across a dining table from you
men
television presenters whose program’s audience isn’t at least 80% women
me (half a dozen girls exempted)
i am sorry. i must be so victorian. i just think that it is an odd thing to talk about. i know women should be empowered by their “sex”…
it just seems a little less special when you talk about it to everyone.
plus it’s gross.
sarah silverman channeling georgia o’keefe via the huffington post
Filed under: crime, drama, ethical dilemmas, kindness, people, the new york times
i decided to send a letter to randy cohen, who writes the column “the ethicist” for the new york times magazine, in order to solve my ethical dilemma. i hope he replies, i love his column. here is the letter i wrote:
Dear Mr. Cohen,
Recently, my home was robbed. Thousands of dollars worth of things both replaceable and irreplaceable were stolen, as well as my car. A few days later, my car was recovered and the people allegedly responsible were arrested. Upon receiving my car, I discovered that it was filled with the possesions of one of the people in custody. I tried to give the things to the impound lot, but they wouldn’t take them and when I called the detective working on the case, she told me to do whatever I wanted with the things. Would I be acting correctly to give the items ( mostly clothing and other personal things) to a charity shop? Or do I have an ethical obligation to try to return them to their owner, even if they stole from me?
Thanks for your time,
xxxx
Filed under: being poor, crime, drama, ethical dilemmas, kindness, los angeles, people
so, i got a call from the police at 2 in the morning, they had my car, and had arrested the two people who were driving it on crenshaw. the girl in the driver’s seat was 16 and apparently a repeat offender. getting the car back took forever, at first they wouldn’t let me have it because they insisted that it was still stolen, even though you could see it in the impound lot. i know there are some very intelligent police officers out there, but i didn’t meet any yesterday.
the car is ok i think, although they smashed one of the side mirrors, broke one of the tail lights, the check engine light is on, the gps is gone, and someone wrote their initals on the glove compartment-door. unfortunately, everything that i had in the car (cds, chargers, gym clothes, owner’s manual and registration documents) are all gone.
the weirdest thing was that all of this girl’s stuff was in the car and it seemed like she had been living in it, sad. The police told me she was a “problem child” and that they were trying to put her in some kind of prison-school. i took all of her things (clothes, make-up, instant oatmeal, maxi-pads) and put them in a bag. my first thought was to take them to the police station and my second thought was screw that, that little bitch stole all my shit. her clothes are in the dryer now, i’m going to give them to out of the closet, they will probably give her a uniform at her new school. I feel kind of guilty, like i’m enforcing some petty lex talionis, but i do know, from personal experiance, that the worse the consequences, the better you learn your lesson… or would she be better inspired by a wronged stranger’s kindness? idk.
t. apologized today via e-mail for not being “compassionate” enough toward me. not sure if thats the word i would use, maybe “rude”? but it made me feel good and forgive him right away for our fight yesterday.
there is something about an appology from someone who never appologizes that makes it almost better than the perfect compliment.
last night was without a doubt the worst halloween i have ever had. highlights of the night include:
- sitting in traffic for an hour and a half
- waiting in line at -mcdonalds- for 20 minutes because my friend wanted a hamburger
- finally getting to my favorite bar in la (akbar) only to leave 5 minutes later because someone we were with thought it was “boring”
- driving in heavy traffic with ultra-agressive, emotional people
- walking for a mile on hollywood blvd along with tens of thousands of the trashiest people in la
- going to the “awesome” club that was supposedly $5 cover charge only to find out that it was $40 to get in and then having people get mad at me because i’m being cheap- i’m sorry, but i’m not paying $40 to dance with a bunch of trashy drunk people.
- being the only person not completely wasted in a bar that was at twice its capacity.
- finally cutting my losses and walking the 3.8 miles back to my house (i google-mapped it)
the only good thing about last night was that my beer and 2 ginger ales were $5 total plus $3 tip. plans for the $40 i saved by not going to the trashy club include seeing southland tales (by the guy who did donnie darko) at the afi fest ($11) and the darjeeling limited ($11) and the rest toward a replacement ipod.
lessons learned: be more assertive when out with agressive, self -centered people, don’t hang out with agressive, self-centered people.
next year i’m going to netflix a hitchcock film and open a bottle of red.
i am working on my j peterman powerpoint presentation for my merchandising class tomorrow, constantly being reminded that my peterman mailbag got knicked (sp? no k?) in the robbery. I’ll miss you friend.
i have a replacement in mind though:
the gladstone, strong enough to go down the nile, across the alps, through the canal, over the oceans, but still small enough to carry aboard a plane.
with all of the recent drama around here it was really good to have tom back from europe. i made him my famous lemon chicken (thanks mom) and french beans almondine. unfortunately he has to fly to new york tomorrow.
i hate being left alone all the time, our house can be kind of creepy when you’re home alone.
this is us on our friend jim’s boat, invader, in puerto vallerta last christmas.
Filed under: drama
so i just called 911 because i saw someone creeping around in the bushes in my backyard. turns out it was a neighbor looking for his cat which escaped. last week i would have just gone outside to see what was up. shit.
